Are You Taking Care of Your Soul?

Here’s a great questionnaire to keep your creative flow going … with a reminder to take care of ourselves. It’s from Blast O’Joy.

Are You Taking Care of Your Soul?

by Suzanne Falter-Barnes
January 13, 2006

It’s all too easy in the mad swirl we live in to forget the obvious — that living, breathing heart that beats within us. It’s where important things dwell, like your larger purpose in life, your creativity, and your passion. And it single handedly determines whether you will live with joy or not.

Here is a questionnaire that will help you gage whether you’re giving that all-critical nerve center, your soul, the space and care it needs.

Answer the following as honestly as you can:

1. When throwing a dinner party, I tend to do all the work myself. I insist guests leave the dishes, and do not grumble when my spouse disappears at clean-up time. This happens:

a) every single time
b) some of the time
c) occasionally
d) never. (I accept all kinds of help quite happily!)

2. My spouse is dependent on me to help him/her manage day-to-day affairs like remembering names, writing business letters, running errands, making wardrobe choices, and figuring out how to handle certain situations.

This is true:
a) all of the time; it occupies much of my day
b) some of the time; it happens frequently during the week
c) it happens from time to time during the week
d) it happens a few times per month, rarely, or never

3. Exercise in my life occurs

a) whenever I can squeeze it in … which is rarely or never
b) when I make time for it, but somehow that’s never quite enough
c) pretty frequently. I have less guilt about this than other things
d) as often as I need it

4. Exercise seems

a) Less important than finishing my work (I know I work too hard)
b) Like a basic luxury I can’t quite afford
c) A little painful, but usually worth it when I can make myself go
d) Critical to my well being, so I make time for it

5. My children

a) Are simply the number one, most important thing in my life (I’ll get to my dreams later, when they grow up)
b) Are very important to me, but they are also the source of a lot of frustration and angst
c) Have prodded me to at least begin my dream — but then they keep distracting me from it
d) Make me balance the work of my dreams with home/family time, so we all get what we need

6. The idea of taking a Saturday or a Sunday just for me seems

a) wildly selfish
b) wonderful, but totally unrealistic
c) Great … but where would I begin? There is just so much I need at this time
d) Something I actually do for myself and love

7. If I were to take an entire vacation entirely by and for myself, I would

a) not. Period.
b) Have to talk my spouse or child(ren) into supporting this, which would probably kill it right there
c) Have too many responsibilities to take care of in advance — but when I think about it … it’s actually sort of/maybe possible
d) Know just where I’d go and what I’d do … in fact, it sounds like a plan

8. I make some time for myself

a) only when I’m sick. Then I get to lounge around in bed.
b) When there is a rare, unexpected hole in my busy schedule
c) When I see my therapist twice a month, and the occasional lunch or dinner date with a friend
d) Pretty much every day

9. When I make time for myself, I

a) sleep
b) veg out in front of old movies with something fattening and delicious
c) try to get outside, or exercise, or call a friend, or whatever I think of first and can grab enough time for
d) rely on old, tested rituals I love like the candlelit baths, meditation, soothing reading, or journaling

10. The idea of scheduling in some nurturing time for myself seems

a) impossible
b) a little unrealistic, given all my responsibilities
c) possible — but I’d have to hire help and I’m not sure how or if I could do that
d) doable… I’m doing it now!

SCORING

To determine just how much you do or don’t nurture your soul, tally up. (Keep in mind this is a questionnaire for general use; it’s obviously unable to account for individual circumstances. So judge your own situation and score accordingly.)
Give yourself 4 points for every a); 6 points for every b); 8 points for every c); and 10 points for every d).

If your score falls between:

40-60: You need to seriously reevaluate your relationship with yourself. Something’s gotta give here or you’re looking at a mega burn-out situation and all the nastiness that brings with it. While this quiz is only a rough indicator of how much nurturing you need to create, it seems like you need a lot. Consider making that a priority for the year, and consider working with a therapist or life coach to provide support.

60-80: Your self nurture index is still set pretty low; how about upping it some? Seems like some downloading of responsibilities is in order, whether that’s through simply saying ‘no’ or finding reliable help of some kind.

80-100: You’re in pretty good shape when it comes to self-nurturing. You’ve gotten the message that you need to make time for it AND you actually do it! Furthermore, you understand the inherent value in being a little selfish with your time and energy once in a while.

SUZANNE FALTER-BARNS is a pioneer in her field of understanding the creative process, and nationally known expert on creativity. She is the author of Living Your Joy: A Practical Guide to Happiness and How Much Joy Can You Stand? (Ballantine Books). Hailed as a creativity classic, her first book has sold more than 60,000 copies, was a Publisher’s Weekly Hot Pick, and a Main Selection of the One Spirit Book Club. More…

Enjoy!

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